It's all so dirty.

Dirty politics. I have been trying to avoid it, but it's inevitable once personal issues come into play. I don't know why there's so much fuss about this issue. The thing is, I've somehow lost my zest to be up for it. Just because of friendship. I wanted it so much to be a friendly competition. But yeah, all relationships are political. And the true test of friendship is nearing. I'm stuck at a position wherein I have to choose. And whatever I choose, I know I'll hurt someone somehow. And a part of me will hurt knowing that I did. There is a strange form of anger in me. I'm angry that I'm hit where it hits the most just so I can be convinced to do something. I wanted to look at things objectively, as much as possible. I'm just stuck. Politics.. It gets so effing dirty. I'm risking so much for a year of obligations. I just wish it turns out for the best. I can't believe I'm considering what angers me - caving in to persuasion as a friendship is jeopardized. Just to get what they want.. Damn. But yes, I will think about it. Hassle ito!