Rough week. Machine.

It was rough, and bittersweet as usual. The elections had passed. Results are still unknown. I hope Diega wins! Hehe. I've sent a text brigade asking Ateneans to support my girl. Pretty sure BJ would win and so would Abbi. Alfred, I hope, would win. So there. Many didn't vote due to the fact that school politics are dirty.

The other day, I talked to my friend who was having love problems. And it just disgusts me how REAL love could not be found in the world today. Not that it's non-existent, but it's really hard to find real people with real emotions. This theory was backed up by the book I'm currently reading - Lady Chatterley's Lover by DH Lawrence. Amazing!

I couldn't help but agree in shame with these passages by the author.

"How different they are, mental feelings and real feelings. Today, many people live and die withogt having any real feelings - though they have had a "rich emotional life" apparently, having showed strong mental feeling. But it's all COUNTERFEIT... Our education from the start has taught us a certain range of emotions, what to feel, what not to feel, and how to feel the feelings we allow ourselves to feel. All the rest is just non-existent. The vulgar critcism of any new good book is: Of course nobody ever felt like that - People allow themselves to feel a certain number of finished feelings. So it was in the last century. This feeling only what you allow yourselves to feel at last kills the capacity for feeling, and in the higher emotional range you feel nothing at all. This has come to pass in our present century. The higher emotions are strictly dead. THEY HAVE TO BE FAKED."

He was pertaining to the 20th Century. Love is hard to find, true. He basically says love , joy and all those other things are dead. So hard and easy to agree. Hard cause it's true. Easy cause it's true... Here's more of that stuff I love to read.

"Never was an age more sentimental, more devoid of real feeling, more exaggerate in false feeling, than our own. Sentimentality and counterfeit feeling have become a sort of game, everybody trying to outdo his neighbor. The radio and the film are mere counterfet emotion all the time, the current press and literature the same. People wallow in emotion: counterfeit emotion. They lap it up: they live in it and on it. They ooze with it..."

"You can fool yourself for a long time about your own feelings. But not forever. The body itself hits back at you, and hits back remorselessly in the end."

"The trouble with counterfeit emotion is that NOBODY IS REALLY HAPPY, nobody is really contented, nobody has any peace. Everybody keeps on rushing to get away from the counterfeit emotion which is in themselves the worst of all."

This line hits hard the most:
"Above all things LOVE IS THE COUNTERFEIT feeling today. Here, above all things, the young will tell you, the greatest swindle. That is, if you take it seriously. LOVE IS ALL RIGHT IF YOU TAKE IT LIGHTLY, AS AN AMUSEMENT. BUT IF YOU BEGIN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY YOU ARE LET DOWN WITH A CRASH."

"There are, the young women say, no real men to love. And there are, the young men that say, no real girls to fall in love with. So they go on falling in love with unreal ones, on either side; which means, if you can't have real feelings, you've got to have counterfeit ones: since some feelings you've got to have: like falling in love. There are still some young people who would like to have real feelings, and they are bewildered to death to know why they can't. Especially love."

"But especially in love, only counterfeit emotions exist nowadays. We have all been taught to mistrust everybody emotionally, from parents downwards, or upwards. DON'T TRUST ANYBODY WITH YOUR REAL EMOTIONS: if you've got any: that is the slogan today. Trust them with your money, even, BUT NEVER WITH YOUR FEELINGS. THEY ARE BOUND TO TRAMPLE ON THEM."

Then he goes on talking about sex with the counterfeit emotion he is talking about. As I was driving home, one day during the past week, I was saddened by the idea that this has been true at many points in my life. Were some of them counterfeit? Those that I cared for? And who claimed cared for me? Were all of them counterfeit? It's hard to tell, really. For a time, I have felt counterfeit emotions for people. Emotions I've imposed upon myself. But that stage is over now, which makes me really sad to have realized this.

God is dead. As Nietzsche puts it. And because of this, doubt for emotion is all you can do. "What love?" In this day in age, love is nothing but a fad. It's nothing deep, really. Worst of all, it doesn't last. Those midnight phone calls and futile efforts you do for whoever are nothing but counterfeit in the end.

(Yes, Rio, there are many out there. I could find someone, anyone. But it will most likely be like the counterfeit love I'm talking about. The cheap kind. Somehow, the romantic part of me wants real, deep, philosophical, spiritual love with one who understands what true love is and knows how to do it.. Not the doggy-like machines I've met. Not everyone can love truly. But everyone could "love" in fake terms. We've all experienced that. I can give numerous examples, including myself in the past.)

We love machines, that's for sure. And I know how it's like to love one. The doubt stings you. Later, the doubt is the "reason" why the machine takes on another system. And you're left with nothing but the memory of loving a machine that didn't know it was.

And as for my friend who also loves a machine, kukupalin ka talaga niyan. Kupal yan. Hehe. Kidding. But really, be prepared. Machines are out to get us. Ayan na sila. WAAAAH! Lol.