"Maybe that's where your anger lies... That you've lowered your standards. And still, she left..."
WOW. Those are one of the most powerful words one can ever hear.
"But I really don't wanna talk about that now... I keep going back to philosophy to ease the pain, to psychology to understand why, to literature to see what beauty there is in pain... In the end, it just hurts."

I really don't need this today. I'm tired. I just came from the effing seminar in Laguna. My leg was acting up again. Hence, Jay limps. AGAIN.

I used to do a lot of things. A lot of things that I was good at, that I enjoyed excelling in. "You over-analyze things." Said to me again.

Emotions are useless.

They took away my leg. I can't run as good as I used to. My athletic career is over. That was my art... I do music, write poems, or act out some lines for a play. And I'm good at it. But why would I want it now? The beauty there is relative. It's talent for sure. No one contests artists (except other artists) because their art is acceptable and most of the time beautiful. Not everyone can do it. So yes, the world gives to the artist their right to art...

But brains, on the other hand, is taken by the world with slight hostility. Geeks are beaten up or made fun of. They're never usually sexy. Geeks can be a real turn off... But they're rare because they have brains (like everyone else) but their brains are more capable than others.

And right now, "You think too much" is overrated for me. STOP SAYING IT TO ME. It's all I have. If I use Descartes' philosophy, well, thinking determines my very existence. Who knows me better in this world? It's my mind. It holds my memory of things I love and hate. How can one neglect a brain? Is it inability to use it?

One person told me thinking too much causes depression. That's true. Thinking leads to depression. It takes you to a level no normal person can reach. When you're there, you're all alone. All the other normal thinking people cannot even make an effort to use their brains themselves, that they find you weird.

And for all those that did not appreciate me, screw you! This is my art. It might not be beautiful to any of you, but it means something to me. It means me to me. My body will decay. My acting and whatever performing skills will become passe. But my mind, well, it takes me to places my body and talent won't. I have a mind. Sometimes I can be depressed because of it. So effing what? Aren't artists just as sad and misunderstood inside? Not everyone appreciates art. But it is more acceptable than brains.

Whatever. Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Horoscope:
...After all, variety is the spice of life -- and not every spice is delicious. Treat this day as simmer time on a stew that will eventually be quite delicious. Be patient and trust that when things are meant to be, they'll be.

Of course.

Myspace horoscope pa pala:
You cannot make up your mind; first you want to be on center stage and then you would rather be hiding out at home. You might be less worried if you just stopped pushing so hard. Take time to address your own needs, even if you believe that expressing them is a sign of weakness. The truth is that exposing your softer side may be scary, but can help you grow closer to someone else.

Hassle. Pagod na ko.

Ah eto pa pala. Pakshet kayo.

When you find yourself thinking of a parent or older relative today, stop and pay attention. This person symbolizes something that you need to integrate back into your life as soon as you can. Give yourself time to figure out what it could be today -- the answer might not be obvious at first. But remember: just because something is in your past doesn't mean that it needs to stay there. Whatever you miss can be yours again. All you have to do is reach back and get it.

Haha. Yeah right. Pakshet kayo.